The Power of Moments
Authors: Chip Heath & Dan Heath
10 Key Insights:
Defining moments shape our lives. These moments are what we remembered and what makes time meaningful to us. We don’t have to wait to make defining moments happen, we can create them. A defining moment is a short experience that is both memorable and meaningful. They are created from one or more of the following elements: (1) Elevation; (2) Insight; (3) Pride; (4) Connection.
Elevation - Boost sensory appeal, Raise the stakes, Break the script
Pride - Recognize others, Multiply milestones, Practice courage
Insight - Trip over the truth, Stretch for insight
Connection - Create shared meaning, Deepen ties, Make moments matter
If you’re struggling to make a transition, create a defining moment that draws a dividing line between Old You and New You. What if you treat the first day of work for a new employee like a first date? We work hard to impress them instead of them impressing us.
In customer service, you’ll earn about 9 times more revenue if you elevate the positives (e.g. move a customer’s rating from a 4 to a 5), that you will eliminate the negatives (e.g. move a customer’s rating from a 3 to a 4).
Moments of elevation need not have all three elements but most have at least two.
Boost sensory appeal: “turning up the volume” on reality
Raise the stakes: add an element of productive pressure: a competition, a game, a performance, a deadline, a public commitment.
Break the script: to violate expectations about an experience
Mentorship in two sentences: “I have high expectations for you and I know you can meet them. So try this new challenge and if you fail, I’ll help you recover.”
A mentor’s push leads to a stretch, which creates a moment of self-insight.
To produce moments of self-insight, we need to stretch: placing ourselves in new situations that expose us to the risk of failure.
Mentors can help us stretch further than we thought we could, and in the process, they can spark defining moments.
The formula for mentorship that leads to self-insight: High standards + assurance + direction + support.
To identify milestones, ask yourself:
What’s inherently motivating?
What would be worth celebrating that might only take a few weeks or months of work?
What’s a hidden accomplishment that is worth surfacing and celebrating?
If you want to be part of a group that bonds like cement, take on a really demanding task that’s deeply meaningful. All of you will remember it for the rest of your lives.
Purpose is defined as the sense that you are contributing to others, that your work has a broader meaning. Passion is the feeling of excitement or enthusiasm you have for your work. When it comes to performance, purpose trumps passion. Yale professor Amy Wrzesniewski believes that purpose isn’t discovered, it’s cultivated.
Our relationships are stronger when we perceive that our partners are responsive to us.
Understanding: My partner knows how I see myself and what is important to me.
Validation: My partner respects who I am and what I want.
Caring: My partner takes active and supportive steps in helping me meet my needs.
A classic paper on recognition by Fred Luthans and Alexander D. Stajkovic emphasizes that effective recognition makes the employee feel noticed for what they’ve done. Managers are saying, “I saw what you did and I appreciate it.”
The top reason people leave their jobs is a lack of praise and recognition.
Want to take your learning to the next level? Visit our sign-up page and join a Vialchmey Personal Development Cohort now.
